Posted by: mancunian1001 on: November 10, 2008
My apologies to the only reader of this blog for not posting for a while. I hope you find this selection of tunes worth waiting for.
Top of the tree (thanks to my local radio station) is this classic tune by Liquid Gold from February 1980. It has the hallmarks of a great cheesy tune, that of infectious hooks, a gear change near the end and simplistic lyrics. Apart from Feels Like I’m In Love, the rest are in gear change city. Juke Box Jive is made up of truck driver gear changes to high heaven as is Wanted.
As for Chemistry, the gear change appears near the end like a typical Westlife song. In terms of cheeses, the songs rank as follows:
Shabba!
S.V., 10 November 2008
Posted by: mancunian1001 on: October 6, 2008
Thank heavens for local radio! A certain person on my local radio station decided to request the above song one Sunday morning on Tameside Radio.
Released in April 1987, ‘Diamond Lights’ was the only chart hit for Glenn and Chris (or Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle) who were plying their trade for Tottenham Hotspur. The song reached the top twenty in time for Spurs’ FA Cup Final tie against Coventry City.
Though the song didn’t grant the North London side a possible seventh FA Cup win, it ticks most boxes for cheesiness. How?
As cheese goes, it is a Blue Stilton; you either love it and revel in its ’80s synth glory, or steer well clear – whether its their awful dance moves featured on ‘Top of the Pops’, or their mullets. It is also worth noting that this power ballad was produced by the former producers of the Nolans’ songs.
To survey the damage, here’s the lyrics:
S.V., 06 October 2008
Posted by: mancunian1001 on: September 29, 2008
Who remembers ‘Bananarama’? Till the Spice Girls came along they were the most successful female act in the UK.
Everybody remembers this band in the Stock Aitken and Waterman era, with hits including a cover version of ‘Venus’, ‘Love In The First Degree’ and ‘I Heard A Rumour’ best representing that period.
Before The Hit Factory worked with Bananarama in 1986, some of their early stuff are worthy of placing in pop ’s Camembert stakes. ‘Cruel Summer’ is one of them. Though the same song was revived and remixed in 1989, ‘In The Kingdom of the Bland’ has insisted on placing the 1983 original on its cheeseboard.
How does this song warrant its place for ‘This Week’s Cheesy Tune’? Minimalist and catchy chorus and an obvious whiff of 1983 about it. Oh and it sounds flat in parts, but hey we love it and its hummable.
S.V., 29 September 2008.
Posted by: mancunian1001 on: September 22, 2008
O.K, we know that the only other person who reads this blog will be tapping ones toes to the mere thought of this classic from 1981.
In the same year 3 million were on the dole when ‘Ghost Town’ by the Specials defined that year’s soundtrack came this disco tune. ‘Hands Up’ was Ottawan’s second UK Top Ten hit for the duo whose previous hit was D.I.S.C.O.
It has the hallmarks of a great cheesy tune: infectious intro, memorable chorus and an easy listening air to it, a tune not too taxing to listen to at all.
Cheesy Europop, bring it on!
S.V, 22 September 2008.
Posted by: mancunian1001 on: September 15, 2008
“Walking around with a head full of music…” – Cliff Richard, 1981.
This year has seen Cliff Richard return to the Top Ten for the first time in several years. To commemorate this, I have especially chosen this cheesy classic from 1981.
With Alan Tarney and B.A Robertson among the songwriters whom Cliff Richard collaborated, the Peter Pan of Pop found the 1980s a most fruitful decade for Top Ten hits. From ‘Carrie’ to ‘Whenever God Shines His Light’, the period from 1980 to 1989 saw the singer move within the times and maintain his popularity.
For me, ‘Wired For Sound’ screams 1980s cheese: lurid lycra outfits, roller skating, and personal stereos. The video also had the good grace to see the Cliffster on the mean streets and subways of Milton Keynes – which for me was the highlight of the video. 13 years since the release of ‘Wired For Sound’, I went to Milton Keynes, and it felt strange to think Cliff once graced this subway or precinct floor.
Wired For Sound peaked in the UK charts at No. 4, No. 2 in Australia and No. 1 in the USA. It is still infectiously cheesy even now. Anchor Mature Cheddar on the Cheese Scale I think.
Posted by: mancunian1001 on: September 8, 2008
You couldn’t make this up. According to today’s Daily Mirror (thanks to a Government initiative), The Jeremy Kyle Show could lose a fair chunk of its viewing figures – thanks to a special edition of his popular talk show.
Under the working title of ‘Jeremy Kyle Gets Britain Working’, this could be another toe-curling notion of using popular culture to get the unemployed back to work (citing the precedent of a previous Tory Party Conference where Mick Jagger’s awful ‘Let’s Work’ was played). Ministers are considering paying him £400,000.
The proposed programme could be like a signing-on session writ large, without JSA at the end. This would follow the familiar format of his talk show. This has attracted the ire of Don Foster (Liberal Democrats MP) by claiming it “adds insult to injury that they are using such a controversial figure”.
It could be worse, it could be Norman Tebbit.
My question is: if they are seen on the Jeremy Kyle Show about unemployment, are they seen as not being available for work? Hmm.
S.V., 08 September 2008.
Posted by: mancunian1001 on: September 8, 2008
The ’70’s were a good decade for cheese. Captain and Tennille’s tune is no exception, being a cover version of the Neil Sedaka song ‘Love Will Keep Us Together’.
I like both versions, but the Captain and Tennille version ranks higher on the Gorgonzola Factor due to its vintage synths. Play this to me one more…
S.V, 08 September 2008.
Posted by: mancunian1001 on: September 2, 2008
Is cable theft as big a fear as terrorism among rail commuters?
A local radio station which I listen to often advertises a local scrap metal merchant, an industrial sector which has been booming due to rising in metal prices in China.
It is this boom which has in the last 2 years been responsible for most delays affecting Greater Manchester’s rail network. My first experience was one in November 2006 which affected the Manchester North signalling area for 2 weeks.
Luckily, this has also coincided with me catching the bus to work more, which thanks to reduced traffic on Ashton Old Road has become a better option for me than getting the train.
As well as being a major economic crime, cable theft causes great misery to its commuters. These include extended journey times as well as cancellations, greater anxiety amongst commuters trying to get to work on time and greater reliance on private road transport.
Last week, this happened to me at Stalybridge, and the same has happened to some of my fellow travellers a week on (this time at Bolton). At this time of writing, today’s incident at Bolton has just been cleared an hour ago.
In Greater Manchester, this seems to be the biggest contributor for rail delays. In June alone, there has been 21 hours and 44 minutes worth of delays. Thankfully, justice is being done with one person jailed for 3 years, causing 143 trains to be delayed – including the judge’s usual rail service.
For maximum disruption, stealing 50 yards of cable to delay several trains just to raise some beer money seems to be the answer. However, this disruption, in my honest opinion is just as damaging to public security as well as our need to increase rail patronage.
Send them down!
S.V., 02 September 2008.
Posted by: mancunian1001 on: September 1, 2008
‘Bad Boy’, Miami Sound Machine (1986)
Greetings pap pickers, this is the first post of a regular series for ‘In The Kingdom of the Bland’. Every Monday, ITKOTB will ruminate on and delightfully handpick a cheesy tune cure these Monday morning blues.
Today’s tune is ‘Bad Boy’ from the Miami Sound Machine. This was used in one of 1986’s most successful films ‘Three Men and a Baby’.
The tune is high on the Camembert scale due to its catchy chorus and high pitched composition. It was a personal favourite of mine in the May of 1986.
S.V., 01 September 2008
Posted by: mancunian1001 on: August 30, 2008
A tepid welcome to you all from In The Kingdom Of The Bland
Celebrating mediocrity, blandness and uniformity (albeit in a self depreciative way) is this new addition to the blogosphere, ‘In the Kingdom of the Bland’ The title is so-called after a lyric from the Half Man Half Biscuit song ‘CORGI Registered Friends’.
Formed by Stuart Vallantine, the brainchild of ‘East of the M60′, this blog intends to be a squirmfest and irreverent look on the bland. This includes trash TV, cheesy music, keg bitter and fast food.
INKOTB accepts that life is in shades of grey and a pile of crud. We know it is, and our other reader might think so too. Rather than moping about it, we are going to laugh about it. We know bills are rising, that house prices are falling but we’ve got look on the bright side. We can and we must. Laugh that is.
To my other reader of this blog (or anyone else who may be inadvertantly peering inward), ta-ta for now.
S.V, 29 August 2008
